The Art of Nonviolent Communication

Copyright (c) 2011 Dawn McIntyre

Communication. Building better understandings between two independently operating humans. This can reap awesome rewards for our relationships with others, but it sure does take some work to master. Let me unpack what I mean. I have a client who is endeavoring into marriage with her new fiancée. They are a delightful couple, and as they begin to make decisions about their upcoming new life step together, they are experiencing differences of opinion for the first time, surrounding things that they were previously the sole decision maker on in their life. Parts of life like their home, money, work, and family are now becoming issues that must be communicated on. But when the disconnect surfaces for the first time, this couple's surprise can cause emotions to roar their ugly head quickly!

The solution is non-violent communication. It's a topic that I cover on day 35 of my New 10 book, and it's applicable to many more situations than this one. When someone deeply betrays you, this works. When you are in an uncomfortable situation with a family member, this works. Non-violent communication is a learned practice, and it requires first understanding our own emotions. As soon as you feel your strong emotions (anger, hurt, confusion, despair) flare up, look into your heart. Take time to understand your feelings and their source. This is critical for your ability to communicate clearly to the other person in a reasonable tone.

Here's the kicker. Non-violent communication does not just mean physically peaceful conversation. Even more than that, it calls for emotional non-violence. A New10 woman is someone who will offer respectful and loving responses to others, even after they experience feelings of pain. Your feelings are your own responsibility, just as mine are my responsibility. It's about boundaries and love. My own feelings of anger do not permit me to treat others with cruelty and disrespect. Now, is this easy? No way! But becoming a boldly beautiful woman would not be an amazing accomplishment if it were easy to achieve. Put in the hard work and you'll be rewarded with the benefits of someone who cannot be swayed in her loving interactions with others.

When my engaged clients learned this tool of communication, they were able to separate themselves from their emotions and benefit from higher levels of communication than ever before. They didn't make assumptions about the other's thoughts or motivations because they believed in each other's good intentions and unpacked the source of contention through talking it out. They were more easily able to uncover deeply rooted expectations around how they envisioned their life together, their individual household chores, how they would spend their income, and what they desired for their future. They accomplished all this without damaging each other emotionally.

Their resource for this success was non-violent communication - conversing with intentional love and self-awareness. Be calm, in control and poised to honor others, despite their words and actions towards you. Rise above with your communication, and you will be raised above in your soul.


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Dawn McIntyre, Professional Spiritual Intuitive, is an expert in leading men and women into higher states of expansion and beauty consciousness. Join her on the Boldly Beautiful exclusive member's community at http://www.boldlybeautiful.com for daily interaction and guidance in manifesting your beautiful life, from the inside out.